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The Axon Spaceship

But they look so trustworthy!

Image courtesy Amazon.com

Military conquest may work well for the Borg, but other extraterrestrial ne'er-do-wells favor a more deceptive path to victory. Yes, some aliens favor the long con.

Just consider "The Claws of Axos," a classic "Doctor Who" adventure and nasty confidence trick that plays out as follows:

  1. Disguise your true hideous form and appear as golden humanoids in form-revealing leotards. Talk British.
  2. Crash your organic spacecraft on Earth and claim to be out of gas.
  3. Inform the earthlings that you're short on cash but will barter for fuel.
  4. In exchange for a fresh tank of petrol, offer the humans a miracle substance called Axonite, a thinking molecule that can replicate any substance -- such as gold, helium-3 or Thai Red Bull.
  5. Drain the energy of all life forms on Earth.

See, the Axons are not a species of individuals. The ship, its crew and the precious Axonite itself are all part of a single parasitic organism -- which should have been expected since the Axon ship looks like a leech of some sort.

In the 1971 "Doctor Who" adventure, the titular time lord naturally thwarts the ravenous aliens, but it serves as a great reminder: Whether you're dealing with Zerg, Tyranids or just a good old invasion of Bugs, never trust a ship that poops.

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