The Cylon Basestar
Never trust a Cylon.
Oh sure, it all starts out well enough -- full of lusty glances and hot human-on-toaster sex, but then the Twelve Colonies of Kobol go up in flames and you're either running for your life or slaving away on a Cylon-occupied mud planet.
Then guess who starts messing with your emotions again? That's right. Typical Cylon wishy-washiness. If you've watched Syfy channel's "Battlestar Galactica," you know what I mean.
Given this dynamic, the deadly Cylon Basestar is the last vessel you want to glimpse in Earth's orbit. Resembling a gigantic caltrop, this galactic death machine boasts a brutal arsenal of 220 missile turrets and several hundred Raider attack ships just waiting to zip out and kill all humans. It can nuke a planet back into the Stone Age, or send a Centurion boarding party right into the heart of your precious Earth ship.
Best-case scenario? Fiery death courtesy of your robotic overlords. But if the Cylons truly want to punish earthlings, they'll unleash the full force of their crazy ex-girlfriend/boyfriend ways on their human frenemies.