10 Pieces of Disaster Safety Advice You Should Ignore

In Case of a Zombie Apocalypse, You'd Better Have Some Pretty Powerful Weapons.
The key to protecting yourself during a zombie attack is using quieter weapons that draw less attention (and fewer zombies) to the altercation. Solarseven/iStock/Thinkstock

It's a dark and stormy night, and Michael Jackson's undead "Thriller" dancers are moonwalking their way toward your brain. How would you want to be armed for this disaster?

Popular culture has given many people the misconception that gruesomely powerful weapons like chainsaws and flamethrowers are the best zombie killers available. Not so, says Max Brooks, author of "The Zombie Survival Guide." Chainsaws are limited by their heavy weight, finite fuel supply, unsafe operation and zombie-attracting noise. Flamethrowers, assuming you could find one, are even heavier and run off of jellied gasoline. Where are you going to find jellied gasoline? Best leave this one for the movies.

As it turns out, the most practical weapons are a little less flashy. For close combat, try the trench spike, a short blade with a brass knuckle handle. It's perfect for braining zombies (stabbing them in the head) or at the very least knocking them down. Bolt- or lever-action rifles are a great choice for longer range strikes. The one-shot capacity makes users choose their shots wisely, saving a great deal of ammunition over showier automatic weapons. They are also easy to maintain, and bullets are widely available.

Is a zombie apocalypse likely or even possible? Probably not. But if it does happen, you're one step closer to becoming a one-man (or woman) zombie-killing machine.