Apocalypse Now? A 2012 Survival Guide

I Ching, You Apocalypsed
Scared yet?
Scared yet?
Rossaroni/Creative Commons

Wait, so what do ancient Chinese coins have to do with the threat of a 2012 apocalypse? Well, nothing unless you buy the theories of Terence McKenna, the post-Timothy Leary, psychedelic poster boy.

The Taoist I Ching is an ancient Chinese divination text that, in addition to sharing basic tenets of human wisdom, lays out a system for determining the course of future events. It requires the would-be diviner to cast three coins which, when combined with a complex system of 64 hexagrams, can produce 4,096 different combinations. With the aid of the I Ching text, the user can then formulate a prediction for the future.

McKenna, however, claimed to have created a computer program that allegedly formulated a "time wave" out of all possible I Ching casting combinations. This time wave, McKenna concluded, points to an event dubbed Time Wave Zero in the year 2012. He dreamed up the idea in the early 1970s while under the influence of DMT (dimethyltriptamine) and LSD. So yeah, don't waste too much mental anguish worrying over this magical mystery apocalypse.

How to Prepare: FEMA makes no recommendations concerning I Ching coins, but the agency does recommend stashing money in an emergency savings account. You also might want to keep a small amount in cash or traveler's checks at home in case of evacuation.

Up next, prepare to endure the wrath of the sun.

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