Closer Than Ever Before
Denizens of the 21st century knew the Dixie Chicks as a Texan country music trio, famous for the hit "Wide Open Spaces" and a controversial comment or two about the 2003 U.S. invasion of Iraq.
By the year 3008, however, things had taken a grotesque turn for the worse. Due to a gruesome teleporter malfunction, the three musicians' bodies fused into a single, amorphous blob of human flesh. The accident left them in a state of intense, constant pain, but their surviving heads and limbs permitted their blockbuster musical career to continue unchecked.
This catastrophic merger also altered their physiology in astounding ways, greatly extending their life span and allowing their horrifying new body to absorb other organisms -- presumably their new form of sustenance.
Let their example be a lesson: one at a time in the teleporter. No crowding.