Troubled Waters


Infantry taking "heavy water" in combat call for air support.
One can only assume that if the U.S. military adopts hydro-ordnance, other countries will follow suit. The United Nations has already expressed concern that this development will restart an arms race that will eventually spin out of control.

Olivia Nichols of the U.N. Security Council paints a horrible but plausible picture:

I see countries rising against each other, waterarms in hand; streets wet, homes soaked, cities flooded. This insane plan will come to no good end. We are about to restart a cycle of countries trying to best each other, turning the tide on one another in the name of power. My heart floods with the tears of the future. When will it stop? When all our lakes and oceans are drained and our children are drenched...

U.S. lawmakers also worry about the legality of hydro-ordnance. NATO has raised questions about hydro-ordnance's compliance with current NATO standards. Environmental lobbyists have already objected to the use of hydro-ordnance, claiming that the U.S. will consume vast amounts of water quickly once the system is adopted across the military.

The Defense Department has shot back, estimating that over 53 percent of water used in training will be recoverable through condensation. They also point out to environmental critics that the benefit of taking explosives and fire out of warfare will reduce airborne pollution. In addition, battlefields will no longer be littered with spent shells and potentially hazardous unexploded ordnance.


Ground forces use Neptune Cannons to provide cover for a C-130 taking off in enemy territory.


Special Forces attack an enemy helicopter during a daring night raid.

U.S. Army General Bo Riker predicts, "Battlefields of the future will be much cleaner ... and slippery."

No matter the outcome, hydro-ordnance is a fascinating technology that will inevitably change the way we fight wars. For more information, check out the links on the next page.

Is This For Real?
April Fools! Now that April 1st has come and gone, we'll admit that this article is absolutely untrue. For now.